So where does a person start? In my last article we talked about just getting started. As easy as it is for some of us, it can be a very difficult task to get started. There is no one way to do anything. You have to explore what works best for you. I have coached hundreds of people in my professional career. Anytime I worked with an executive, entrepreneur or any one dealing with personal matters there is always one thing I can be sure of. That is there won’t be one catch all system that helps guide anyone.
Why? Because the inception for change must always come from within. A coaches job isn’t to be told they are right. A coaches job is to guide a person so they can come up with the answer on their own. When someone gives you a yes or a “hey you know what, you’re absolutely right” then 9 times out of 10 they are giving you a passive yes to get off the topic at hand.
So let’s talk leadership within yourself and see what we can do to help hone in on where you can begin.
How deep have you gone inward or better yet, how honest are you being with yourself? Every ounce of growth comes directly from the source. It’s easy to talk about external forces but you and I both know it starts with being honest with yourself.
After you drummed up the courage to be honest with yourself, be honest BUT be easy on yourself. It’s ok that you are here today. It’s ok that you might not be happy or satisfied. You have to be honest but accept the answer.
Do you get stuck thinking about the past or the future too much? When we access the past and the future we access strong emotions. Some good and some bad. ok ok, mostly bad emotions. Ask yourself, do you feel good feelings when thinking of the past and future? Do you feel anxiety, worry or sorrow? That’s how you know you’re not living in the current moment which takes you out of the most actionable state of mind.
Do you find yourself in a pattern you just can’t quite seem to get out of? Everyone loves a good story, but we often get stuck telling the same story with little to no progress. We can tell a story which keeps us in the emotional state keeping us imprisoned.
Do you believe change is possible? What about instant change? I took several polls with people at various seminars asking people if they believed in instant change. Majority of them said they didn’t believe in instant change and chalked it up to a coincidental good thing. How can instant change be possible if you don’t believe in it in the first place?
How self aware are you of your demeanor, attitude and language? Sit on this question for a bit and be honest with yourself.
We start by doing a self audit. If you can’t understand yourself by being completely self aware, how do you expect to actually get anywhere.
If you have already started down this journey of self discovery, these questions are still relevant as it reminds us to check back in with ourselves. So where do you start? You start by asking yourself vital questions you ask your friend as you’re trying to make them feel better after a break up.
In these current times, I find that we often know others more than we know ourselves. And how can you live a life fulfilled if you can’t lead yourself? Living a life happy, fulfilled really takes courage to understand yourself and accepting yourself.
This is where you start to learn how to love yourself more. Sometimes the quickest way to snap back is by telling yourself “it’s ok”.