Let’s talk about language. How aware are you of the things you say? How often do you use specific words or how tuned in are you to how you use them? We are creatures of communication where some of us are just absolutely atrocious at it while others experts. What makes someone an expert at communication? Some might argue it’s their level of understanding and patience that does it. What makes someone truly a great communicator is their ability to have others understand their ideas or someone else’s.
Do you believe it’s possible to instantly improve your life? This is a question I would ask groups, friends, mentees or even strangers for that matter. The majority of the time they would respond by saying instant change isn’t possible and each would have their own reasonings. There is a common theme no matter a person’s reasons as to why they have trouble believing it’s possible. I gave you a hint toward the end of my last sentence. Belief is one major factor as to why our lives are in the current state they are in. We accept the life we believe we deserve along with having trouble grasping the belief that our wildest dreams are even possible.
When people think of change, they tend to think of massive change forgetting about the process of change. Instant change is possible, yet many look far beyond even that first step immediately thinking about all the things they have to accomplish for that change to carry weight.
To first reach massive change one must build a new foundation and belief on what is possible while being aware of the things they do now that are keeping manifestation from happening.
Phrasing is one of the most important parts of how we communicate. When I work with leaders and entrepreneurs one of the first things I do is observe their sentence structure. Your sentence structure plays a major part of your mindset because it reveals what’s going through your head, what kind of emotions you have and more.
When someone says “this day is going to suck” and with intense emotion, then they have set the tone for their day. Every word you use has a vibrational frequency and the emotion you put behind those words is like the gas pedal.
When someone says “this day might have it’s challenges, but that’s ok. I will face any possible issues with ease and make the most out of the day”. The previous “this day is going to suck” is both lazy and limiting as this person has already accepted the entire outcome of the day. The emotions felt in both sentences has also changed. The first sentence is riddled with despair and negative outlook whereas the second phrasing positions the person to have a positive and openness to the day.
Let’s dissect a famous speech by Winston Churchill and see where we might be able to improve it. We will use both a good example and bad to show the comparison between the two.
“I have, myself, full confidence that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made, we shall prove ourselves once again able to defend our Island home, to ride out the storm of war, and to outlive the menace of tyranny, if necessary for years, if necessary alone. “
“I have, myself, full confidence…”
Churchill starts out strong with starting with intense emotion and conviction on how he sees the future
“that if all do their duty, if nothing is neglected, and if the best arrangements are made, as they are being made,…”
Here you can see by his use of “if” he illustrates that he must be open to uncontrollable circumstances and be open with an outlook that if and only if others commit as he has, there will be victory. This shows that a person knows they can only control what they can control.
“we shall prove ourselves once again able…”
In this final sentence of this first paragraph, Churchill closes with another strong sentence of confidence.
That was part of a famous speech from a famous person but what about an everyday entrepreneur that wants more but keeps struggling to find footing? This next example is dialogue comes from the CEO of the board of directors for a non profit company.
“Hey guys you’re about to get this email a few different ways so I’m sorry. First off miss all you guys, secondly I’m off the week after but who knows when I will be able to meet. We’re gonna have a few options to help with our operations, but I’ll wait to announce it. I’m still working out the new partnership. Next meeting I want to make it a that everyone comes to this next one since it should be important, so let’s communicate and find out what’s gonna work. Also everyone I’m working seven days a week trying to catch up, but I’ve made great connections that will bring this whole thing together.”
“Hey guys you’re about to get this email a few different ways so I’m sorry.”
When people apologize they tend to do so out of context where an apology simply isn’t needed. The very first sentence gives away any leadership authority. The end use of “I’m sorry” denotes that they themselves are a sorry person. The use of sorry here is something many of us have been taught since we were little. We were told to apologize by saying I’m sorry. The use of “I’m sorry” is inappropriately utilized here simply by this person’s conditioning. When we want to apologize, instead of saying sorry, say “I apologize” because that’s what it is, an apology. In this usage, the CEO lowers their level of conviction by already apologizing for something they presume will be an inconvenience. It’s assumptive and positions this leader with loose footing for the rest of their message.
“First off miss all you guys, secondly I’m off the week after but who knows when I will be able to meet next as things are chaotic right now.”
When we use the expression “first of all” it can come off authoritarian with the receive ready for a tongue lashing. One thing to keep in mind is that although something sounds friendly in your mind, it doesn’t necessarily translate the same way to the person on the other end. The two other weak points in this sentence is the use of the word “but” and expressing “things are chaotic right now”. When the word “but” is used, this removes the weight of anything that was said previous to it. This word changes the focus of the sentence negating the power of what was said previously. A question to ask here is, is it truly chaotic or is it the CEO’s inability to manage their tasks. This is where mindset preparation is important. Sure things might be temporarily chaotic but (cancel out chaotic and move focus to:) we are on track.
How aware are you of the words and phrasing you use when communicating? Does some of your language and outlook resemble that of Winston or more of the aspiring CEO? One of the biggest things when learning how to improve your communication is to be easy on yourself and understand that you were taught to communicate this way through your schools, teachers, parents, peers and society.
Instant change is possible and I am confident if you embrace your new future then you will undoubtedly improve your life immediately.